Randie: November 2009 Archives

Week 11

Happy Turkey's Eve Baglovers! I hope you're all getting ready for a fun filled long weekend full of stuffed birds and bellies, long tryptophan naps and bad football as only the Lions and Cowboys can bring you. 

Unfortunately this is going to be a quickie. Unlike most New Yorkers, I'll be here at work well into the evening and I got some family coming into town so I need to get the hell out. As you may have noticed I narrowly missed gaining some ground on Lenny last week. His Chiefs stunned Shittsburg in OT! Discarded Charger and former Dolphin Chris Chambers took a pass 61 yards in OT to set up the winning score. Then my dum dum Foreskins couldn't manage a single TD yet again against Tony and the Cowboys from Homo Hell. So I still sit 5 games back but hey, you never know. It's easier to hain ground when you have four teams in the bag pool (except for the fact that they are BAG teams).

But this NFL weekend wasn't a complete loss for yours truly! I woke up Sunday morning around 8 am and began readying myself for a fun filled day of NFL. While I was steaming my vintage #83 Mark Clayton jersey, Sarah was busying herself with the preparation of a togo pitcher of bloodies.

Simultaneously, Mikey was in BK procuring our beers from his local bodega. We were meeting our friend Claire at the Port Authority then all heading over to the Dirty Jerz. Sarah surprised me and got us tickets to the Dolphins vs. Jets game Woohoo!!!!  (Yeah I'm gonna marry that woman!!) So it was a day in the Meadowlands and what a day it was! A note to Jets fans:  I've been a part of this rivalry since 1982 when I made my first trip ever to the Orange Bowl for a classic Richard Todd vs. David Woodley battle during a strike shortened season. It was a back and forth game with the Fish pulling it out on a late Uwe Von Schamann 47 yard field goal. In the post season later that year, the Jets beat the LA Raiders in the second round to move up to the AFC Championship game (called "The Mud Bowl" which sounds more like Lenny's drawers on Sunday night) against the mighty Dolphins. Miami's Killer B defense picked off Todd 5 times as the Fish skunked the Jets 14-0. We won't talk about what happened in the Super Bowl against the Foreskins. Now the all time series record is 46-40 Jets but who's counting. Fast forward 17 years and though the players have changed the rivalry remains. 

At least we have our own stadium. Jets still don't have their own stadium and they never will! Walking around the parking lot of Giants stadium I kind of felt like Triumph the insult Comic Dog when he visited the Bon Jovi show there many years ago. Hello, I'm a dumbass, my name is this guy. I can't really knock Jets fans though. They're just supporting their team! They tailgate proper. They have all these dumb little songs they've been practicing for so many years. "Marino is a homo" is one of my favorites. Poor Dan, still catching shit despite retiring nine years ago. "Brown takes it in the butthole" is another favorite. Notice any latent homosexual tendencies here? This is why I don't have to make fun of them. It's funny... they're funny. While I as waiting on line for the port-o-john a group of d'rocket jets fans threatened to tip me over once inside. I was like yeah, c'mon do it, just video it so I can post it to my FB page. Sadly I didn't get a Port-o-tip, much to the chagrin of the mohawked, Wesley Walker wearing wise guy in line behind me. There's a surprisingly large amount of Dolphin fans here in the NY/NJ area. It never ceases to amaze me. I wish there weren't sometimes. It's hard to endorse dickhole dolphin nuts rocking zubaz pants and bandanas with their jerseys tucked in. Nevertheless we were in a pretty rowdy section. I suppose it had something to do with the lack of oxygen that high up. The first half was pretty boring as both teams stunk the joint up crawling to a 3-3 tie at the half. One major fail on my part was neglecting to remember that they stop serving at halftime. Now I remember why I snuck a flask in last time. I should have rocked Dr. Sneaky! Things got more interesting in the second half. I witnessed at least four altercations in which both Jets and Dolphins fans were escorted away. Just a few rows away from me a Dolphins fan threw his beer at the douche behind him. Major fail considering the value of beer at that stage in the day. Nothing really happened after but they both got the heave ho. Speaking of ho's, the Dolphins D decided to pull a Lenny and disappear for the afternoon (except for Jason Taylor running back a fumble for a TD). Thank geeooowdeee for Teddy. The Jets got Ginned right in their faces. See I could have said they got Ginned in their stupid buttholes but that's not how I roll. Ginn set an NFL record with two TD returns of 100+ yards in the same quarter, barely making up for a costly fumblé on his own 20 which led to a Jet's score. There's nothing more exciting than yelling at a kickoff return for a TD. Almost as exciting and yelling at an inside the park home run. The game was back and forth right up to the end when Dirty Sanchez shit the bed on 4th and 10 with under 2 minutes to play by tossing it out of the end zone. So sorry Jets fans! I was especially sorry to see you all leave in the beginning of the fourth quarter with the game so close. In fact each Ginn run back triggered a partial exodus. I loved some of the post game commentary from some of the Jets player saying how the Dolphins aren't that good yada yada. Well we just swept the season series from you and despite our 3-4 record we are 3-0 in the division which will weigh heavily down the stretch.  All the douchey ESPN commentators were all over the Rex Ryan bandwagon in the beginning of the season. Well the wheels have come off that train I'm afraid. I got four words for you: o-ver-ra-ted! Final score from the meadowlands 30-25. 

We then hopped on the bus, ate some fried pickles in Times Square then headed over to 3rd and Long to watch the Yankees game. Big mistake! It was $1 beers for marathoners night. While I appreciate the accomplishment there's nothing worse than hanging out in a bar full of self entitled distance runners, especially when they feel like they're entitled to get to the bar before me. Nevertheless we high tailed it down the street to visit our buddy John at Copper Door Tavern who took care of us proper.

Next up, the Patsies... and pain for Shitzgerald!

I may be losing the bag bet but guess what? I've worn it before and I'll do it again if I have to. It's only half over and anything is possible. 

I'm still up in the side bet!

Hey guess what? Joe Buck Sucks. I recently became a fan of the Joe Buck Sucks Facebook page. I encourage everyone to join. Tomorrow night: Pain for Pedro!!!! Let's go 27!!!!!

Take a moment and see how Stormtroopers spend their off days.

Grrrrr!  Randie