Week 14: Baggage???? We don't need no stinking Baggage???

It's pretty much a done deal. I'll be in the sack. Despite some recent improvement, my squads just can't keep up with the Saints. Without them Lenny's got bupkis. I've been doomed since that fateful day in the Toronto Airport. The foreskins have been on the precipice of getting their shit together for a few weeks now but they've been falling short. Sadly, their ship righted at the expense of the Raiders Sunday. Not sadly for me, I don't really give a shit. Sad for you know who, who has been having a bad couple of football weeks. Hopefully our little jaunt down to Nashville this weekend will cure what ails. As payoff for our side bet, Lenny is taking me to watch a Dolphins vs. Titans game down south and I can't wait to be that guy! Well wouldn't Lenny be that guy since he will be wearing a jersey from a non-participant? I can't believe it's already here. It's especially sweet going down there with the playoffs on the line for the almighty Fish. I assure you next week's write up will be wrought with Volunteer shenanigans including the I won a bet, I lost a bet signage and the ever popular home made cooler handle. My liver is so excited that we decided NOT to pregame in Vegas before the trip. I only hope I can raise my arms in victory just like Lenny did last year. Anyway, aside from the Redskins beat down of the Raiders, the Shitstain Browns demonstrated not how far they've come as a franchise this year, because let's face it, they still suck, but rather how awful Pittsburgh has become. They're terrible. I'm so glad I don't have any Shittsburgh fantasy players this season (Red). The Jags continued their jeckll and hyde season dropping a nail-biter to the Dolphins (teehee) but at 7-6 are still in the hunt for a wild card spot. I think the real source of my demise is the Crapalo Bills. They barely got by the hapless Chiefs in a Lenny masturbation game, giving them a whopping five wins on the year. Both the Lions and Rams got blown up sir by the Ravens and Titans respectively. The only other bag action was, of course the Saints eeking out a W over division rival Hotlanta. I reckon I'm still mathematically in it but at seven games back with twelve games to go it's looking grim. However I'm not going all Randy Moss on the season just yet.  I'm not scurred of the bag. I just wish we could have had a payoff from last year. I for one was looking forward to face painting for the first time and Lenny, well he owes a ride in the garbage bag of love for 2008. 

Start or sit em? That's the question on everyone's mind this week as the fantasy playoffs begin for most of us. Caldwell says healthy starters will play. Not sure what that means exactly. I don't know why but I have a strange feeling that Jax could pull this one out. They're playing for their playoff lives and are at home which is the only place they can win. MJD's looking a bit run down and Indy's pass defense has been shaky. 

Similarly, Dallas has the ability to take it to the Saints this week. Unfortunately they're playing like butt and have a terrible track record in December. If they want the playoffs they need a win here.

I think Buffalo is going to feel the wrath of Belichick. There's been a lot of league smack about the Patriots shitty play of late (which I haven't minded). Couple that with the fact that both the Fish and Jets are biting at their heels and you got yourself a beat down of the Bills.

Zona embarrassed the crap out of themselves Monday night. Here they are on the verge of clinching the division and they barely showed up. Seven turnovers??? Well Detroit is the panacea to all poor performances. 

Completely meaningless game. Go Browns! One way or another, the Browns are going to the Super Bowl this weekend.

Who's is this Null guy? That might be the worst football name ever.

NY Giants @ Washington, Monday 8:30 pm

Potential 2010 Bag Roster

The Raiders better thank their lucky stars that the Chiefs suck so bad. 6 out of the 8 bag teams will be repeats from 2009. Thank baby jesus there aren't any potential Saints in this lineup. Actually wait! I have the first pick so i'd want a Saints!! I'm not sure who the hell I'd pick first from that mess.

In baseball news, MLB announced that the Yankees will open the 2010 season in Fenway on Sunday, April 4 at 8 pm. Too bad it wasn't a home game so they could watch us get our rings! Maybe we'll wait until our first home series against those douche rockets to do the honors. Actually, nope, we have this little thing called class and when you have as many world series championships as we do you don't need to rub opponent's noses in it. I felt fantastic about the first big offseason move made by the Yankees in acquiring Granderson. Everyone loves this guy so I'm excited about his clubhouse presence. The Red Sucks overpaid for a Lackey and if things go as planned, we won't have to face Doc Holiday a million times a year anymore.

pss. Our trip to disney was awesome. Sarah had never been (technically she was there as a munchkin but got an ear infection and couldn't partake) so I felt it was my duty to escort her into the wonderful world of Eisner.

I finally got my wish and rode on a speeder bike (sorry I didn't have time to photoshop out the stands).